/startblog

I feel... useless. Just totally useless. I haven't done anything of worth today. I haven't even really talked to anyone today. Not really anyway. I need to start getting out of my house and doing things that need to get done. I just hate going out alone. For anything. I hate going out period. I don't like people. I don't like driving through town. I don't like people.

God... I really hate me sometimes. I wish I could be as rational as I pretend to be.

Days like today remind me how alone I am. I have a total of one close friend here now. I find myself pathetic. I can't depend on anyone else to motivate me to do this shit. I need to just do it. But tomorrow will be the same. And so will the day after that. I'd rather just lay in bed all day... no... strike that. I hate wasting the day away. I despise it. That's what's making everything worse...

Meh. This post doesn't make sense. Big surprise. I'm just... I'm happy... But... I'm not happy at the same time. I'm not content. That's it; I'm happy but I'm not content. I'm not alone but I'm lonely as hell.

I just feel so... unimportant now. I'm not needed here...

/endblog