Understanding, I Don't Have It.

I just read a couple of blogs written by two female friends in my life, one of whom has been my best friend for years. They were both talking about their issues with weight and their constant struggle to lose more of it.

I don't understand. I really don't.

Neither of these women are fat. Both of these women are smaller than the average woman. Both of these women wear between a size 0 and a size 4. And I'm like... really? Are you fucking kidding me?

I mean... I get it. Every woman is subject to the pressures of the media and society (or their mothers), but there is simply no logic to either one of them. They both sit there and tell every other woman that she is beautiful and that it doesn't even matter what they weigh. Why doesn't that apply to you? What happened to "practice what you preach?" I honestly find it somewhat disgusting. It takes effort for me to not get sucked back down into a thought-line of "If that's what you think about yourself then you must be disgusted by me" because I am the one who is actually overweight. Can they not see the hypocrisy of it all?? It drives me up the wall.

Sure, I am also trying to lose weight but I'm not doing it because I want to look good, I am doing it because it is medically necessary and I'm doing it as healthily as I can manage.

The point is, I understand... but only up to a certain point. I can't understand obsession and I can't understand letting something like your weight define you as a person. I know that these women don't necessarily do that, but there are plenty that do. I don't understand how these wonderfully beautiful women can judge themselves so harshly and by the standards of a society that is constantly subjugating women and treating them as nothing more than objects. Why would you listen to that and let it affect you that deeply? I understand that most people don't think the way I do... and... I almost wish I could understand. Almost.

I don't know where my place is in this and I'm tired of being ignored so I'm just keeping my mouth shut. I don't know what else to do at this point. All I can do is live my life the way I think is best and maybe be a good role model.