I, I, I, I, I, I, I..... God, I hate I.

I have cried at least once every day for the past week.

I think I'm depressed.

I know I'm depressed.

I don't really know why.

I mean, I know the C stuff... but... really? This is crazy. I'm moody and irritable and just... fucking sad.

I don't know how to fix it.

God, I feel selfish. I always talk about me.

God, I just hate me sometimes. I don't do enough for others. Even though I do. I don't give myself enough time taking care of me but I can't. Jesus fuck this makes no sense.

I'm losing it.

I won't tell you what I'm fantasizing about right now... You'll tell me to go back to therapy. I'm supposed to be over that. I'm supposed to be taking care of myself.

I'd like to just curl up in the fetal position and lie here. For hours. Days. I just am not in the mood for life anymore.

Nothing makes me feel better.

I tried doubling my meds today. It didn't help. I'm not surprised. I think I might get drunk....

**Edit: I might be drunk right now. A little. And it might be awesome. =D