Just Feelings. They Mean Nothing.

I'm always going to be the black sheep.
I'm always going to be the one no one can understand.
I'm always going to be the last to know.

I feel like I've lost my sister.
I feel like... I just feel like... crying.

I hate feeling so isolated.
I hate that I love someone I can't touch.
I hate... everything... and nothing.
I hate that I only have one person who is close enough to me to hug me when I need it.

I hate being alone.
I hate that no one thinks I can understand.
I hate that no one will tell me what's really going on.
I hate that I'm crying right now.

I hate that I love my family when they don't act like they love me back.
I hate that I still love the people who almost killed me.

I'm overreacting.
I don't care.
It hurts.
It's allowed to hurt and I'm going to let it.

I hate that everyone is getting closer and I'm getting shoved to the side.
I hate that their religious beliefs dictate their lives.
I hate.... I just hate. I hate it all.

But.....
I don't hate me.
And that's what matters.
I know that I am absolutely who I want to be.
I know that I am exactly what I need to be.

And we'll leave it at that.